Thank you! Yes, many thanks to you! For the first time, I am writing my confessions. Here, on a blank page, I write the thanks to you that I have never said.
When you finish school and step out in to the world, you are without a shell. You’re alone and in front of you is the unknown; thousands of questions, fears, projects and dreams. It’s not easy for a parent to be there listening and giving advice just to see everything go in another direction at the end. And all of this is with a smile, despite the sadness inside.
Now I have put myself in your shoes. I can’t imagine how I would have been if I were you. Dedicating 20 years of my life raising a son to one day hear, “I’m leaving.” To watch this continue for years and years. To see him come back and then leave again. Listening to all the decisions, indecisions and all the dreams to be caught.
– “But when are you coming back?”
– “I don’t know.”
– “Yes, but what are you doing?”
– “Well this and this for the moment.”
– “But when will you get everything together?”
– “I don’t know, c’mon.”
It wasn’t easy, but you managed it all. You were always there even though, I think, sometimes you were wondering why you had a son like this. But you never cut my wings. You always let me go to chase what I wanted, whether it was right or wrong. You knew I had to discover this on my own. We had discussions, but yours were just fears and concerns, who doesn’t have them? Even when you didn’t agree and everything was going another way, you never imposed anything on me. You never tried to change me and you let my stubbornness and desire of freedom run wild. You let me chase my dreams and follow where they lead me, telling me, “The most important thing is that you are happy!”
And so, now I have to say thank you. It’s a tough job and certainly not for everyone. I was opening drawers with dreams inside and you were there beside me watching how happy I was to get them and give them shape. And so for this, I have to say thank you. I’m at the next stop of my lifelong journey and I’m not sure if you have gotten used to all of this or if you are still hoping than one day I will become normal. Well, I’m sorry, but the craziness is too beautiful and wild, and so crazy is what I want to be.
I can see, though, that not everyone can say the same. Some friends and people I’ve met during my trips have told me, “I’m doing this for mum and dad, you know…” Or, “I have to give some gratification to my parents…” But, it’s your life! If you don’t think about your dreams who will? Many times other voices are stronger, and for some people, spreading their wings seems impossible. Even though they might want to, they feel like they are doing something wrong. You can’t put barriers in front of your dreams, or put them in boxes and leave them closed somewhere. Dreams are serious and delicate things. They need to be listened to, taken and shaped. We need to follow our own paths and not the one of someone else. We need to walk where our dreams tell us to go.