I came back a few months ago after a year of traveling and I could not recognise the strange feeling that I started to have.
Something had changed. I was suddenly back at home because there was something I really wanted at that time. I was happy to be surrounded by the people I love, but when I was looking into the future it wasn’t as it used to look. It was like being in a thick cloudy fog. I could not see anything in front of me. My desires to travel and explore had somehow weakened. It was very weird to me. After some time spent at home, I could go anywhere I wanted to and dreamed of again. But no, I didn’t feel like going this time. I didn’t have any explanations for this. So, I started to consider it as a break and respected it as it was meant to be. Take a deep breath. (www.youngtraveller.org/pause/)
I learnt to enjoy this pause, and at the same time I kept thinking about my dreams. After a while, was time to leave again. Not a place I chose but a motif indeed. A reason brought me in Slovakia. I had all the answers in front of me, but still I was blind and I could not realize anything yet.
I arrived in Nitra and started to do what I wanted to do. It was exactly what I was looking for, something fun that made me happy and at the same time useful for what I’d love to do in the future. Somehow that feeling came back. In front of me, nothing. I could not see anything, even if I was enjoying what I was doing. I started to think of the next step, but I couldn’t think of anything. Traveling also didn’t make any sense. I felt scared that I had changed in this way. Everything I always believed in had gone. Over time I also realised that this city was not really the place for me. But in a place that I didn’t feel was for me, why didn’t I do what I used to do in the same situation before: leave? Why was I going against all that I had always believed? We are not trees, right? We are not stuck, so why would we not make change?
Was the Motive. The Motive for why I was here was stronger than the place itself. I was happy about what I was doing. I started considering the balance between things. To happily accept that nothing has to be black or white, or has to be lived to either extreme. Sometimes it is good to have balance, like an even scale. Otherwise, if one side is heavier, it is time to go and step forward.
And then suddenly, one day I had the answer to all these weird feelings I had for months. The Motive I had in front of me and I could not seen before was the answer. I had thought that traveling didn’t make sense to me anymore, but the truth was that I just had to reconsider the way to do it. It can’t be the same anymore and change is inevitable. I felt stupid to be scared of how I changed, because actually I should have been scared not to change at all. I almost forgot the one of the three words of my favourite quote. “Explore. Dream. Discover.”
The dream was the missing part. Of course I dream a lot and always chase them, but I really never put my dreams in traveling as I should have done. Traveling still makes a lot of sense to me, but in a different way now. I didn’t give up on adventures, of course there will be a time during the year that I will still go just for the desire to see and learn more, as I did, but it doesn’t have to be the main thoughts for now. Years ago I just travelled for the pure desire of exploring and discovering, and to open my eyes to the world and new experiences, but now things are changing. It was great and I gained and learnt a lot, but now it is time to change all of this. Because I learnt there are no paths or destinations without a true motive for now.
It’s time to add the third word to all of this
It’s time to travel for your dreams, Marco.